This week has been a combination of highs and lows. I started off feeling ambitious and by accomplishing a lot. As the week progressed, however, I started to feel lower and lower. I found that waking up got harder, eating got harder, and that everything was just harder.
Every now and then, I find that my headspace feels cloudy. It feels stagnate and murky. Sometimes when it happens, I let myself wake up later and take things at a painstakingly slow pace. Other times, I push myself to get up early and accomplish what I’ve set out to do.
Over the years, people have given me their different opinions on how I should handle moments like these. I have had people telling me that it’s okay to take time off, and I have also had people telling me that I should push myself to be out more.
Truthfully, doing both is okay.
There have been times when I have gone out feeling low and when going out has helped. The opposite is true too, though. I have had times where I’ve just needed to stay indoors and pick myself up again and it has worked.
I have been like this for so long. It’s a blessing and a curse. A curse because I hate feeling like this, but a blessing because time has taught me how to handle myself. I know when to stay indoors, watch movies, and cry. I know when I need to go out to a new restaurant and laugh with friends. When I get too low, I know when to ask for help.
My head is confusing, but I understand it better after practicing self-care.